At some point in our lives, we will experience grief. Most commonly, we think of grief as the sadness felt after a loved one passes away. Grief can also come after losing a job, divorce, estrangement of a relationship, or after receiving a difficult diagnosis. This year is challenging, with many of us separated from our friends and family during the COVID-19 Pandemic. You might feel like you are all alone in your grief. You might think that your grief is something you should get over. You are not alone in greeting the holiday season while grieving.
Traditions that were once something you couldn’t wait to do every year now are painful reminders of what you have lost. As much as we wish we could rewind time and have one more Christmas Eve at Grandma’s house or one more morning as a family opening presents together, the world does not stop for our grief. The holidays might seem even to make our feelings of grief stronger.
You may ask, how do I heal from this?
You see, grief never goes away. It just changes.
Embrace your grief. Do not run away from your grief. Grief is proof you loved, which is a good thing. The pain of the loss is what hurts the most. After my grandmother passed away, I thought I would never be able to enjoy Christmas again. However, now I find joy teaching my daughters how to bake all of my grandmother’s goodies. I proudly serve our Christmas dinner on her Spode Christmas China. Finally, as a mother of adult children, I understand why she was beaming on Christmas Eve as our family filled an entire pew in the church—she was so proud of us.
This COVID Holidays might look even more different than you expected.
Acknowledge that things might be tough this year.
Allow time for your feelings. If you need to cry, then cry.
Be honest with others about what you do and do not want to do
Don’t feel guilty if you need to skip traditions. You can always try them again another year.
Create new traditions
Find a way to memorialize a lost loved one: visit their gravesite, create a memory box, or buy a special ornament for the tree.
Ignore others who tell you how you should feel
If the holiday meal is stressing you out, order take out or a prepared meal from the grocery store.
Donate a meal or sponsor a family in memory of your loved one
Skip it. It’s okay if the holiday is too much for you this year. If the thought of even simplifying the holiday is overwhelming, you can share with your loved ones that you are taking a break from the big festivities. Make plans to see your friends and family but tell them it will be low-key.
Make an appointment to speak with a counselor.
You might have been putting off talking to a counselor about your grief. Now might be an excellent time to explore your grief with a professional. My clients often share that they feel better after discussing how they feel in a session. A therapist can help you learn about what you are feeling, why you think this way, and develop ways to cope with these feelings.
Click the Contact tab to send an email or call today to set up your appointment.
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